I'm getting abused

When you're single .Yes- "single", "alone","not taken", hah more synonyms? So, when you're single , people believe they have nice oportunity to judge you. Some of them, who are called "intelligent" avoid of such talking, but sometimes, for example, during debate, they pour out this, because their subconsciousness tell that it's your weak place...Like lack of brains or ugly face or absence of arm...Hyenas guess they'll have magnificent power over you making you think you're deffected, unnormal,etc. And often they really do...Poor people who accept this. I don't I'm absolutely happy about my freedom (I know, hyenas will yell it's just pathos words of suffering single human being).But no, I'm really happy about my freedom, happy about my honour, okay, happy about my body! Because there is no much disgust then got caress from person you don't like..Arh...No, no, You all say lies. It's real disgust, and i'm so sorry about you who are trying their best to immitate happiness while you got orgasm i time a year...Yes,there are times when i need sex, when i need caress, when i need somebody to hold my cold hand, somebody to spend winter's evenings with, but i'd never ever be with person i don't like. Anyway, I can masturbate,there are always nice book on my bookshelf and....Attention..I have Myself, and it seems like you don't have yourself, because your own personality can't inspire you, can't entertain you, can't iven interest you..That's why you're so afraid of being alone. You depend from your partner, depend from people minds. Remember, you, you, who judge, offend,abuse single people you'll never be happy,because single people will always interrupt you and you'll always envy them, because there, inside of you , you understand they're much stronger, much honourable,much self-confidient and you're just scared part of senceless couple!

The Golden Age of Decay

Yes, sounds similar to Manson's "The Golden Age of Grotesque',but i prefer "decay" for the topic of my essey.It doesn'r matter, because i can use "delete" buttom and forget about essey and even about topic , but ,unfortunately, i can't do the same to our fuckin' planet. I want to ask my opponents whose angels wings fit them like a glove shut up.How long will we immitate that everything is okay/ Oh, stupid question. no way. So long as you'll be personally allive.Right? Because you were born, graduated, made you career, gave birth to your followers. And evry idiot on the earth play the same game destruction game.Capitalism made us agressive,selfish amd empty. When i see pregnant wooman, i think "Hm, in few months she'll give a life to a new bastard, who will think about games, sex and money". Not now, in future.
Cultures suffer from painless agony, we eat each other, nature chokes with death rattle, but we pretend that everything is fucking okay, i wish i could be so optimistic, having seen children&adults dying from cancer,because their parents or relatives don't have enough money, because some stupid whore bought new vuitton bag,talented children who can't continue (or even start) thier education, because univercities is full with imbiciles,

Hey...

My name is Sebastian. I'm turnin' 25 soon.I believe that dragon-flies are mediators between different worlds, but it's not so important for now.I find inspiration always and everywhere, but create sth rather rarely, that's because after havin' been done my artworks start to live their own life and i miss them so much each time, yeah...
I can play only piano,and guitar, just when i want to make my words sounbd more passionate. But, don't be sad, we can visit your favourite Organ-house every day, or almost every day.
Nobody cares about your soul nowdays.Even don't argue, babe. You're among them 2, in some way. Well, i'm nothing special, but you find my blue eyes very attractive, right? I've heard it before, so i accept, i have atrractive blue eyes.You like to repeat that my ash-grey hair is your life-dream. i have celtic outlook, maybe because of my celtic tattooes?hmm..I'm not a narcissus, so i don't like to tak much about it.
We're absolutely different,like from different orbits, but we're crazy in one way. I love you more then life. No, i love you like i love my life, with its sunny days, long nights, endless roads, talks about nothing,alcohol,rude jokes which make you red,sea,roofs, piano heartfelt sound of the piano, sunsets and dragon-flies. But you'll never believe me. But i DO!
You wont believe even if i'm not angry when you're late, if i do the tattoo with pink unicorn without any hesitation and if i keep conversation about death and life, justice and endlessness of things.You wont believe again, because you don't believe in love, okay, i'm not goin' to live you in the next 100 years. You're all-in-all for me.Sorry, you hate phrases with pathos.Okay, i can't leave person who always have left hand cold, somebody have to keep you warm, i'd like to.You're so childish and selfish, but it doesn't irritate me, because it inspires me , you're both all-in -one and fragment.Silly, disappointed,freaky girl, I belong to you.

But , unfortunately, I'm not exist!

I can fall inlove with wooman very easily, but holly shit woomen so irritate me at all. They act, do mistakes, forget, suffer,cry as others and as any other in particular.
Woomen can't be nice friends! Never! Only before they meet new fucker, the same behaviour. They forget you, everything in the world, despite their new addiction. Then they marry, love their kids, and don't even think bout you, but then their lovers find another toy and fucking woomen try to find old friends..Really the most stupid creatures in the world!
Nothing is eternal, especially your fuckers!!!

Sommer night isn't for Fear,is it?

Fear...We all know this feeling, different situation, moments and emotions, different levels os this feeling, different motions.

Well, my fear isn't enough to cry aloud at night, but too horrible to fall asleep. Insomnia is torture, but when you can think bout anything you want-it's better, then you can think bout nothing nad fucking fear eats up your brains. Day by day...

I know, it always comes after my poor heart starts work "uncorrectly". But, why the hell? Why? when i want to live normal life, trying to be quite positive, something not very nice happens to my healy, to my heart..I've forgotten about it for several years, and shit! agan!!!I don't want this situation appeara again.

Sommer night is for walking, dreaming, but hell! not for fear!!!

Всегда

Когда ты теряешь кого-то-кто был для тебя богом, ты теряешь все: чувства, логику рассуждений, принципы,мечты, реальность и повседневность бытия,к которому ты привык и спокойно себе жил,не ведая страха, так как у тебя был ОН, именно тот ЧЕЛОВЕК с большой буквы.
Ты чувствуешь себя защищенным и поэтому можешь мечтать, ты уверенно совершаешь ошибки,ведь есть тот,кто поможет их исправить,тот ,для кого ты всего лишь "маленький", тот, кого не раздражает твоя инфантильность и список недостатков, тот,кто любит тебя сильно,бескорыстно, по-настоящему, как никто больше.
Как же грустно, что все хорошее,заложенное тобой меняется под воздействием социума,времени, но иногда обещаешь себе:" Я обязательно вытерплю, выстою и останусь таким же хорошим,хотя бы наполовину таким же хорошим человеком,каким был ты!"
Как же нестерпимо больно понимать, что тебя нет в соседней комнате, и ты не позвонишь. Просто не укладывается в голове и хочется умыться холодной водой.Я могу отвлечься, но успокоиться никогда, ты познакомил меня с этим миром,с самыми интересными его аспектами,с жизнью,каковой она должна быть по-хорошему счету...
Разговоры про Землю и Космос, бесконечно долгие прогулки и разговоры,пещеры для целой кучи динозавров, вышивание бисером,самые лучшие подарки...Что уж говорить, благодаря ТЕБЕ мое детство было самым счастливым,особенным и добрым. Даже,если я буду много часов,дней сидеть и писать "СПАСИБО"-этого будет мало. Как же я жалею,что не все время уделяла тебе,ругаю себя....

Тебе сегодня было бы 80 лет...Люблю июнь и все равно люблю 29-ое, ни смотря на что,что тебя уже нет.. "нет" - страшно звучит...Всегда ,всегда и всегда я буду любить тебя, мой самый лучший, самый дорогой и любимый Дедуля!!!

###### ########

As usually, typical situation for Kristina. Without any doubts, it's far more interesting to have or smb in your head then have there nothing. But, holly shit,it seems like life or fate play with me, talking bout some kind of love affairs.

Yes, it irritates and hurts my ambitions. Maybe i ask sth unbelievable, no, i can't say so. Sitting in fornt of my monitor, I stopped to read art history, and start ot think bout him...2 days left and i'll have nice opportunity, but i'll miss it. Why? Because i know, that i'll got fuck instead what i want , perhaps Life saves me from my sick desires? But finally, i need it. The same, smb else will get what i want... so good of you, Kristina, you never fight for what you want, cuz ur fuckin' inner ideals tell you it has to be in a different way...But, i have many "buts". Can anybody helps me to get it??If you can, help, ok. Many thanks!!!

Alexander Puskin's Quotes

The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us then ten-thousand truths.

Inspiration is needed in geometry, just as much as in poetry.

Ecstasy is a glassful of tea and a piece of sugar in the mouth

Edith Piaf's Quotes

As far as I'm concerned, love means fighting, big fat lies, and a couple of slaps across the face.

Death does not exist.

Don't care what people say. Don't give a damn about their laws.

For me, singing is a way of escaping. It's another world. I'm no longer on earth.

I think you have to pay for love with bitter tears.

I'd like to see one person - just one - who would own up to having been a coward.

If God has allowed me to earn so much money, it is because He knows I give it all away.

Money? How did I lose it? I never did lose it. I just never knew where it went.

To be successful in my native France, where people speak the same language and understand me, is nothing.

For me, sleeping is a waste of time. I'm afraid to sleep. It's a form of death.

I am stupid. I always told you I was. I hate myself, and I have no confidence in myself whatsoever.

I was hungry. I was cold. But I was also free. Free not to get up in the morning, not to go to bed at night, free to get drunk if I liked, to dream... to hope.

My life when I was a kid might strike you as awful, but actually it was beautiful.

Your whole personality is in your nose.

Jude Low's Quotes

I have no problem with nudity. My friend Ewan and I are starkers in most of our films.

I would never know how to sell myself as a sex symbol. That`s not how I`m programmed.

I`ve always liked what Thomas More said in Utopia, which is that in Utopia every person is allowed their own lifestyle and religion but no one is allowed to stand on a soapbox and tell others that theirs is right. I thought that was brilliant. Brilliant.

I never thought I had to forge a family, but it felt the most natural thing that ever happened to me - meeting someone and becoming a father.

Success, and even life itself, wouldn`t be worth anything if I didn`t have my wife and children by my side. They mean everything to me.

I honestly have no interest in celebrity whatsoever. If anything, I always cringe at it because it takes away from what I am, which is an actor who wants to be better and do better things.

I don`t want to do anything that I`m not passionate about.

I only want to do the kind of work that I would like to go and see, that`s going to teach me something new, that involves working with people I can learn something from and I can give something to.

Oscar Wilde's Quotes

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Genius is born--not paid.

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal.

Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects.

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.

There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right to blame us.

There is no sin except stupidity.

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written.

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.

The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.

The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you.

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry

Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.

Life is too important to be taken seriously.

Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us.

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Everything popular is wrong.

An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Two natures fight hard inside:
Nature,which wears Agent Provocateur and listens to Depeche Mode &

Nature,which wears Green Tea nad listens to brit pop.

I've just realised that I'll always love you, no matter where and how far you are. Even if I press "delete", it'll never delete you from my memory, even if i burn all my notes and throw away things, which remind me about you, I wont forget you ever.I fall inlove so easily, but i didn't fall inlove with you, I loved you, and love and will love. And, i know, my firnds and their critical sights, like :"You're so young, how can you know it was the greatest,deepest feeling of your Life?" . But every act, every feeling is limmited. And i know, You were the biggest passion i've ever had. I didn't believe that i'll be able to live without you even 1 day. But i've broken everything by myself.. I didn't have another choise, did I? I was suffering so much and i thought i'll sufderin' much more, but -no. Apathy came then.
But, yes,I'm calm now, i just understand how big influence you had...

Mikhail Bulgakov's Quotes

"Everything will turn out right, the world is built on that."

"just like a murderer jumps of nowhere in an ally, love jumped out in front of us and struck us both at once"

"In the first few seconds an aching sadness wrenched his heart, but it soon gave way to a feeling of sweet disquiet, the excitement of gypsy wanderlust"

"Kindness. The only possible method when dealing with a living creature. You'll get nowhere with an animal if you use terror, no matter what its level of development may be. That I have maintained, do maintain and always will maintain. People who think you can use terror are quite wrong. No, no, terror is useless, whatever its colour – white, red or even brown! Terror completely paralyses the nervous system."

"he was coming to understand he could not come to rectify anything in his life, only forget."


"'Never ask for anything! Never for anything, and especially from those who are stronger than you. They'll make the offer themselves, and give everything themselves.'"

Marilyn Manson's Quotes

“Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave.”

“We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.”

“I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society.”

“You should have to pass an IQ test before you breed. You have to take a driving test to operate vehicles and an SAT test to get into college. So why dont you have to take some sort of test before you give birth to children? When I am President, thats the first rule I will institute.”

“People tend to associate anyone who looks and behaves differently with illegal or immoral activity.”

“I feel like someone who I wouldn't let my own daughter fuck, and I also feel like someone who, if I was that daugther, would want to fuck more that anyone else.”

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?

Marilyn Monro's Quotes

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."

"The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream."

"I just want to be wonderful."

"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."

"I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent. "

"You never know what life is like, until you have lived it."

"Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one."

A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.

Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.

I restore myself when I'm alone.

A friend to all is a friend to none.

A true friend is one soul in two bodies.

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire.

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.

Friendship is essentially a partnership.


Hope is a waking dream.


Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form but with regard to their mode of life.


No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.



No one loves the man whom he fears.

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.

The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain.

The energy of the mind is the essence of life.

The soul never thinks without a picture.

Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

Jan-Paul Sartre

All that I know about my life, it seems, I have learned in books.

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Hell is other people.

I hate victims who respect their executioners.

If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.

Life begins on the other side of despair.

Life has no meaning the moment you loose the illusion of being eternal.

My thought is me: that is why I cannot stop thinking. I exist because I think I cannot keep from thinking.

One cannot become a saint when one works sixteen hours a day.

She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist.

The best work is not what is most difficult for you; it is what you do best.

There are two types of poor people, those who are poor together and those who are poor alone. The first are the true poor, the others are rich people out of luck.

We must act out passion before we can feel it.

Words are loaded pistols.

To believe is to know you believe, and to know you believe is not to believe.

“It is only in our decisions that we are important.”

“Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth”

Brian Molko's Quotes

I feel very comfortable with the way I look, and I feel very comfortable with the kind of confusion that it creates in people's minds.


I love being a freak. It's great!


Placebo is music for outsiders, by outsiders and our gigs are like conventions of outcasts, which is cool.

“I was a very frustrated, lonely and anti-social young man. I felt very alienated and very bored as well.”

“I'm very lustful. I'm in this fortunate, or unfortunate, position being bisexual in that I have twice as many people to lust over. So it can get hard on tour. I don't think lust is a sin - people should have sex as much and in as many situations as possible. Then they'd be less uptight.”



“Most of these are love songs where I'm trying to come to grips with relationships. They're frequently told from the point of view of ex-lovers, so at first it may seem like I'm being arrogant, but actually I'm eating humble pie. I'm cutting open a vein and letting it bleed for you.”

“My mouth has a tendency to get me into trouble, but because I'm so small and I take on people who are lager than me. If someone punched me, I'd get my drummer beat them up.”

Being so honest in my writing is cathartic.

I like the fact that people either think I'm incredibly gorgeous or flippin ugly.

Chuck Palaniuk's quotes

"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known."


"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."


"Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something."

"When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves."

"All the effort in the world won't matter if you're not inspired."

"Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct."

"If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible."

"Find good in what the world says is evil."

"The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly."

"The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger."

"...beauty is power the same way money is power the same way a gun is power."

"The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything. "

"No, whether a woman is a concubine to fuck or a damsel to redeem, she's always just some passive object to fulfill a man's purpose."

"I feel my heart ache, but I've forgotten what that feeling means."

"I still love him so much I'll hide any amount of conjugated estrogen in his food. So much I'll do anything to destroy him."

"The world will always punish the few people with special talents the rest of us don’t recognize as real."

"I wanted to destroy everything beautiful I'd never have."

"Oh love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me. I'll be anybody you want me to be."

"If we can forgive what has been done to us . . .

If we can forgive what we've done to others . . .

If we can leave all of our stories behind. Our being
villians or victims.

Only then can we maybe rescue the world.

But we still sit here, waiting to be saved. While we're
still victims, hoping to be discovered while we suffer."

"Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer."

"I'm a toxic waste byproduct of God's creation."

"The best way to waste your life, is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate."

"Pretty much always. We need to tell the story of our life to someone."

"First your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life"

"After a good-looking boy gives you rabies two, three times, you'll settle down and marry somebody less exciting for the rest of your life"

"You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, then you throw it away. The condom, I mean. Not the stranger."

"sometimes your best way to deal with shit is not to hold yourself as such a precious little prize."

"tell the world what scares you most. save the world with some advice from the future."

"Self improvement is masturbation..."

"By the time you're thirty, your worst enemy is yourself."

"Fathers. Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will f--- you up, every time."

"...the girl traced the outline of her lover's shadow so she would always have a record of how he looked..."

"You cannot be the person they know and the great, glorious person you want to become. Not at the same time."

"don't do what you want. do what you don't want. do what you're trained not to want. do the things that scare you most."

"Maybe we should always assume the worst."

I'm feeling strange about it. Nothing special, just another birthday, many "happy BD" sms and.. I don't like this day. I start thinking about it on March, but when hours left, I myself deny this atmosphere of senceless circus...
Is it normal to be exited and depressed at the same time?

La Vie en Rose... Life with Piaf

Mais oui, dansez, Milord!
La-la-la... Bravo Milord!
La-la-la... Encore Milord!... La-la-la...

Hey

Havin' been disapointed and all over stressed, I've come to conclusion that i want to "restart" myself..In any way..So, new blog.